I Saw the Sign

Abby: All right.

Here we are . Welcome to today's episode.

Hello Fallon.

Hi, Abby . today we're gonna be
talking about very important topic

that as I was telling Fallon before
we got on this, I went down to write

notes about it and was basically
started writing a freaking essay.

So, apparently, We have a lot to
say on this topic, which is gonna

be all about body image today.

Fallon: Yeah.

I think we both have such a deep journey
with our own body image as well as

guiding women through theirs, that
it's gonna be another episode that.

We're gonna, it'll be interesting
how to tie this up, . I know.

How do we, how do we put
a bow on this at the end?

But cuz it's an

Abby: ongoing, it is an ongoing thing.

And I guess I will say I didn't write any
notes, so this might be something to come

back to, but I didn't write any notes
necessarily about, um, body image for men.

This is really for me, more
focused on body image for women.

Yes.

Um, so I guess I wanna say that
in the beginning that this is

gonna be definitely more focused
towards the women's perspective.

. Um, but I mean, one of the things
we both touched on is how the

patriarchy ties into all of this.

Yes.

And I think we could probably both go
on for days about the patriarchy, but

Fallon: Yeah.

And we can, you know, we can make
the patriarchy as bad as we want.

. Um, but we didn't know
better than to buy into it.

Yeah.

So there's also this self responsibility
that we get to take that like, okay,

yes, this is the pressures that
we received from society and the

patriarchy and that women needed to
act and look and be a certain way

to be accepted or, or have value.

And also we all unconsciously chose
that because we didn't know better.

And now that we know better, , we get to
pull that responsibility back and really

do our self-love and like really the
nurturing of what we most need around body

image, because it is such a vulnerable,
I mean, even still, you know, I mm-hmm.

I think for both of us and for many
women, as much as we've really deepened

into the appreciation of our bodies,
It's still really sensitive and really

vulnerable and can bring up a lot.

So as you listen, I think just be
really, just notice what's happening in

your body as you're listening to this.

Notice what's coming up.

Mm-hmm.

and just, just stay really present and
love on you, um, through this, but also.

Yeah.

Abby: Step into this more.

Yeah.

Notice the places where you might
be buying into things that you don't

realize that you're buying into things.

Mm-hmm.

or the way that you might be noticing
a girl on Instagram and you notice that

she's really pretty and she's really.

Thin or appears to have the best body.

And then you look at yours and you know,
you have the whole comparison and shame,

you know, component playing into that.

Cuz I think that's, that's probably where
it, it hits us the most nowadays is in

social media, you know, and obviously like
in TV and film and all of that stuff, but

like social media is a part of our, for
I would say, most people's daily life.

And it is such a, I mean, it's all
kind of a racket, you know, cuz

we're all just showing many, oh gosh.

I have an aunt crawling on me.

Amazing.

That, what does that mean?

Um,

Fallon: yeah.

Well, and you know, so I'm,
I'm a, I'm a Tad bitt older.

I'm an early eighties baby, and so my
space was really big, you know, when

I was in my early twenties and, I
remember my girlfriends and I instantly

Abby: feeling smaller

Fallon: as we entered the MySpace
world of the MySpace models.

You know, there was like Tela tequila
and there was all these really,

and I remember we would see wow.

A name.

Abby: Oh, do you?

You haven't heard that in so long.

Oh, no.

I know who I'm talking about, right?

Yeah,

Fallon: I do.

I do.

So we entered the space
in our early twenties.

So not only were we raised, you know,
eighties, eighties babies, nineties

and early two thousands, watching
the really skinny models come up.

That was

Abby: secret models too.

Fallon: Victoria's Secret being.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

and that, and, and I remember I had a
friend that was that skinny, um, and

feeling, and gosh, it's so funny to go
back and look at pictures of myself, but,

but again, buying into the patriarchy,
buying into this societal pressure that,

like beauty is of any one thing Yeah.

Of any one thing that, that is Right.

It, it, I, I don't, cause I don't wanna
minimize being skinny or, or I don't

wanna make that bad either, but, right.

But long story short, coming into the
MySpace world, I remember we were all.

Oh my God, the women are so beautiful.

And it was the first time that we
felt everyday women like ourselves.

Right?

Because it, like you said,
TVs and movies are one thing,

magazines are another thing.

But then to log onto a space
where quote unquote regular people

existed like ourselves and we
felt we did not compare at all.

Mm-hmm.

, that really exacerbated a lot of my own.

Body image things or my own desire
to be seen as a beautiful, in shape,

whatever that meant at the time.

Mm-hmm.

, you know, woman to, to be of
value, to feel like men could.

Like me or women could want to be me.

And it was so unconscious, you know?

Bless my sweetheart, but, but it's
only gotten bigger since then.

And I think we've made a lot of strides
in social media recognizing that.

But man, that first introduction was, it

Abby: was rough.

I mean, and we have made a
lot of strides, but there are

still, I mean now it's the rise.

All of the different kinds of
plastic surgery that you can do.

Oh my gosh.

To achieve these different looks.

And from you talking about like the
MySpace stuff, like for me it was,

it was growing up and seeing, you
know, the Victoria's Secret Angels,

like the show is the fashion show.

Mm-hmm.

and being like, well, I
do have that body type.

I'm like tall and thin and I have big
boobs and whatever, all of that stuff.

But being like, but I'm still not
skinny enough, or my stomach has.

Like any fat on it.

So like I, that makes me
not, I'm not good enough.

I'm not like skinny enough.

Like I shouldn't, like, I don't
feel comfortable in my body

because I don't look like that.

Like I could look like that if I tried
hard enough, you know, quote unquote.

Yeah.

and then all of the things we do in
order to, um, try to fit into those

malts that you buy into when like
your brain is literally still, um, is

still forming, you know, and all of
these beliefs are getting imprinted.

And, and then seeing the people around
you who are doing the same things or

seeing, you know, your mom or your aunts
or you know, other of your friends doing

all of the same things and buying in.

Like you said, that's all we really knew.

And because as a society and as
just human beings, your, your innate

human drive is to want to be part of
a group and be part of a community.

So you're like, if this is
what helps me be a part of the

community, then I'll do it.

You know, because that brings me belonging
and that brings me love by people and.

all of those things come into
play in a really harmful way.

Fallon: Yes.

Can be in a harmful way.

Yes.

And I think also this desire to be
unique and to stand out simultaneously.

Mm-hmm.

, you know, um, and if I'm this way
or I look this way or I have this,

then, then I'm also like, I'm, I'm.

. I'm unique enough that I don't
blend in with the crowd so

much that I'm also noticed.

Mm-hmm.

, you know, or, and there's
also the flip side of that.

I know that that was more for me, but
there's also the flip side of like,

I, many people don't wanna stand out.

Like they're like, let me blend, please.

Mm-hmm.

, the thought of having any
sort of individual attention

on them is frightening.

And so all that to like circle back to,
I think one of the first things that

really started to shift me in my body
image was, I mean, we've talked about

this, but honoring our bodies, but also
like look in the mirror and what can you

change in this moment about it, you know?

Mm-hmm.

and what can you, like you, so
what, what if you radically just

began to accept the smaller boobs or
the bigger boobs or the cellulite?

Like what if you just went against the
grain and been like, you know what?

I'm actually just gonna fucking
start deciding that I'm gonna

love the part of me that doesn't.

This part of me mm-hmm.

, like what if we started there?

Mm-hmm.

, you know, and honoring, and I remember
our, you know, old mentor Viola

talked about how her self-love and
her body image began to shift when

she started to think about things at
a s cell, cellular, cellular level.

I can never say mm-hmm.

of like how her cells actually, you
know, carried, you know, information

and even food and that that mm-hmm.

So we all have a different way of what
we can start to shift the way that.

Relate to being in our skin.

Mm-hmm.

. But it's so special to be in this
vessel that I feel like if you and I

can begin to shift this narrative on
some level, I will be a happy woman.

You know, if it's one person that
walks away from this episode feeling

like my, the skin I'm in is so
beautiful where it is at now, I will.

Happy

.
Abby: So Well, and, and like
you're saying, it's like the idea

of whether or not you, like for
me, it's coming at it with a.

With a belief of I am, I am like
a soul, I'm a spirit who's here to

experience like this life right now.

And I get this body right now.

Mm-hmm.

. And so it's like if I'm, if I'm
this soul that has this body that

has a human body, then like, why
don't we make the most of it?

Why don't we like, Show it off and
play with it and do fun things with

it and like love with it and all of
the things instead of like looking in

the mirror and hating it every day.

You know, it's like, like you're
saying, it's in the ways in which like

the, the patriarchy, this patriarchal
society that we live in, play into it

of, you know, because women have so
much, like we have so much to offer

and, but we get so preoccupied with.

what diet we're on or yeah, what size
we fit into or like in, in, in all of

the ways that it keeps us from actually
reaching the potential that we have.

You know, and that's one of the things
that I think is, is so interesting

about this time is because we
see women really stepping up and

embracing fully like who they are.

And then that's where there's no space.

Not loving, you know, your
body to really be there.

It's like it still will
be there, you know?

Cause it's always gonna be, well,
hopefully not always, but it's,

it's gonna be a thing that we
work on, I think for a long time.

Mm-hmm.

, but I don't remember who posted this,
but there was something about like

how the patriarchy wants to keep
women, basically keep women small and.

And so that like they can keep
running the world so that like

men can keep running the world.

Cuz if you keep women focused on this one
thing over here, then they don't have time

to actually realize how powerful they are.

And like for me, that's where it gets
me really fired up to be like, hey.

, we don't have to like
worry about these things.

You're, you're beautiful.

Your body is healthy.

It can do all of these things.

And what else do you have?

Like what else do you have
to offer The world and Yes.

The people in your life, you know?

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Fallon: And the wounded masculine, right?

Like when we're talking about
the patriarchy, it's not men.

Mm-hmm.

And, I mean, I know that you, you right.

Like, you've got an amazing fiance now.

Mm-hmm.

, um, who, who supports and all of that.

But it's the wounded masculine who is
so scared of, of the divine feminine

being, coming to rise in her own.

Abby: Mm-hmm.

her own power.

Her own

Fallon: power, her own trust
of self, her own, like what

if she actually loved herself?

And the thing is, I actually think
underneath a lot of this, like as

we're talking, cause I'm, I'm tuning
into different energies, right.

Of like mm-hmm.

of women that I know and old clients.

of.

, it actually feels dangerous to
decide that you are going to love

your body and celebrate your body.

Mm-hmm.

because then who are you in that, right?

Then you're not playing small.

And then, yeah, it goes back to
like what you said, then what if

I'm not accepted and people think
I have a chip on my shoulder?

So there's also the flip side of
subconsciously it might be the way

that you are trying to stay relatable.

Yeah, of course.

You know, um, safe and
all of these things, but.

. And, and I also agree with you, it's
going to be a journey, like as much

work as I've done on my body image
and I feel very comfortable in my

skin and my weight still fluctuates.

Mm-hmm.

quite a bit.

Mm-hmm.

, I mean, I fluctuate about seven
pounds, give or take, depending

on what's happening, right?

Mm-hmm.

, um, I've come to a place of real,
a lot of acceptance and then

even their spaces where I'm still
like, oh, I wish I had bigger.

You know.

Mm-hmm.

, I mean, it will probably always kind
of be there, but I get to love on

the part of me that wishes for more.

Mm-hmm.

and then love where I'm
at cuz can I change it?

Sure.

I could go get plastic surgery.

It's just never felt aligned for me.

Mm-hmm.

personally.

Um, so it is a journey of, of
loving where you're at, but

deciding that, like you said, we're
actually like this is our one life.

Mm-hmm.

. . This is our one life in this vessel.

Right, right.

And whether you believe
this iteration of it, yes.

This iteration, this energetic signature,
this is the vessel that we actually chose.

Mm-hmm.

because there was an experience
that we wanted to have as

a soul in this human body.

How fucking incredible is that, right?

Yes.

Abby: And so, go ahead.

No, I was just gonna say, and
like all of this time that.

We waste caring, caring about these
things that are, I mean, and God

bless us, like we're so human, and
it's just like such a fucking thing

that everybody, like we all do.

Yes.

You're like, oh, I just, I
wanna feel like, whatever.

And, and that's what I
mean, that's different.

I wanna feel a certain way versus, I wanna
look a certain way, but it reminds me of

like, you know, like in mean girls and
she's like, I wanna lose three pounds.

You know?

Yeah,

Fallon: yeah.

But the feeling and the looking
are, are related, right?

Yeah.

If we look a certain way, then
we're gonna feel a certain

Abby: way and it's not guaranteed.

Right.

and, and like you bring up, you
know, being newly a and that's

bringing up that it's like then all of.

You know, all of these dif these
weird beliefs in for me come rushing

back in and like the whole phrase of
like, oh, shedding for the wedding

and like, needing to get in the best
shape of your life or your wedding.

And I'm like, Hmm, do I
actually believe this?

I mean, do I feel pretty good?

Like where I'm at now?

Yes.

Do I have a desire?

Is there a desire still within
me to feel and look a little bit?

If I'm being honest.

Yes.

Yeah.

And being like, okay, but am I
not loving myself now as I am?

No, I'm not.

I mean, yes, I am still, and
no, I'm not, not loving myself.

Right.

Yeah.

I gotcha.

But it's interesting.

when like you get confronted with these
things and then you're like, oh wait,

and if I hadn't done this work, it's
like you could easily see yourself going

into that mind spiral of like, okay, well
like what workout plan do I wanna get on?

Or like, maybe I should start like
this one diet so I can really feel and

look like my skinniest and my whatever.

Cuz like I am gonna be in all of
these photos and I wanna look a photo,

like I want the photos to look good.

and it's like immediately when like
these, like life events and now it's

like, it triggers like, okay, no, I don't
know, I don't know about these beliefs.

Like let me re re decide like
what are the ones that I really

am believing in in this moment?

And it's, you know what, maybe I want to.

Just get back into, into better routines
because I mean, the other part of this

too, that I'm sure I'll mention more
in these episodes is that we've been

traveling for the last two years, and
so it's like just being in a healthy

routine in terms of the kinds of foods
that I'm eating and the movement that

I am engaging in, you know, has been
a struggle at times because mm-hmm.

you wanna be able to, Be in different
places and experience all the foods and,

but, and sometimes like the foods that
you normally eat just aren't available

in other countries or other places.

And yeah, so it's more of like, okay,
well while I'm here, how do I want to.

Nourish myself in the best way
possible versus how do I want

to get as skinny as possible so
that I look the best on the day?

Yes.

Nourishment, you know, over everything.

Yes.

Fallon: What does that mean over
everything feel like for you?

What does nourishment mean
to you as an individual?

Unplug from social media, unplug
from everything around you and tap

into your body and yourself and ask
what does nourishment mean for me?

And what does that look like?

Because it's not gonna be
just, just what you eat, right?

A diet is not something you're on and off.

A diet is, is a way of life.

Mm-hmm.

. Um, but, but something I also, as I'm
listening to you speak, it reminds me

it was just only a couple days ago.

and I, and I, I mean, and I've
been doing this on and off, is

reminding myself that I am a miracle.

Like I look at my daughter mm-hmm.

, because I will, I will reflect
back to you or share with

you when you become a mother.

The same thing happens is, is
the quote unquote bounce back.

Like how, especially if you've
already been in shape when you

had before you've had a child.

You have a child, you're like, oh,
there's this bounce back and or get

Abby: your body.

Yeah, it's, it's like it doesn't lose it.

Fallon: Yeah.

It's still here.

And it just formed life
over 10 full moons, so.

Right.

And I pushed it out and I did all
the things and I breastfed and I had

the, you know, you get the, the baby
blues and like, there's so much that

we're just focused on the superficial
of, I have more worth in society

if I can get my pre-baby body back.

And it's like, what does that even mean?

Because you're never
gonna be pre-baby again.

Right.

You're always gonna be post-baby.

Mm-hmm.

. And so as much as I like didn't wanna
buy into that, I could feel myself it,

because it took me probably a solid
year to lose, like last 10 pounds.

And I would dance in and out of
permission and shame and permission.

Right.

And, but that's the road.

Mm-hmm.

, that's the road of like, really
can I love myself where I'm at?

and then nourish the shame of like,
okay, there's that pressure, that

internal pressure that somehow mm-hmm.

, I have it more together if I
get my baby, pre-baby body back.

That

Abby: somehow I, and what
does it mean about you if

Fallon: you don't and if you don't?

Especially where I've been in,
you know, at the time I was a

CrossFit gym owner and mm-hmm.

, so I had to really watch and like,
it's the same thing you're doing,

you're watching these stories come
up that we've got into mm-hmm.

for so long and.

I don't know that I wanna buy into
that anymore, and recognizing that

as the stories come up, it's just
the activation of the nervous system.

It's just an act.

The nervous system is just
awakened by something.

Yep.

It's not a fact of anything.

Exactly.

It's just feedback.

It's it's facts over, it's just feedback.

Exactly.

And coming back around as I look at
my daughter, you know, she's five

and a half now, and every day I'm
just like, gosh, you're a miracle.

Like in my, in my being, I'm like,
she's such a miracle and not, you

know, and I'm a mom and I yell and I
lose my shit and I, you know, I'm very

human mom, but, , I realized through
this process is I am also a miracle.

Mm-hmm.

. And then if I can begin to
view myself as a miracle.

So I went to the beach the other
day by myself and I chose to look at

everybody on the beach as a miracle.

Mm-hmm.

,
Abby: because they are, yeah.

I love that.

Fallon: and how can we tap back into that
truth that you sitting in front of me

here on Zoom together, you're a miracle.

Mm-hmm.

, I mean like Really?

Yeah.

And I get to see you in that.

Abby: Yeah.

And it's like what we were talked about
before we started recording . It's like,

what have you started every day being
like looking in the mirror, being like,

damn, girl, you're a fucking miracle.

and like what and how would life be
different if that's like the way that

you started it and if you looked at your
body being like, and you're a miracle and

your, those legs that carry me to all the
places I wanna go is a miracle of the arms

that I have to like lift up my daughter.

Wow, you're a fucking miracle.

I mean, it's like things like
that where, because not every.

Has that, and like you see, we all get
those stories and you see those like

stories about people who, you know, just
don't have, don't have the full health

or they, they lose limbs or just all
of the different ways in which like,

we forget that we are a miracle and
you need, it's like you need reminders

all the time, but what if that's
just how you lived your life knowing.

Fallon: And Yeah.

Or at least, or at least introducing
yourself to it in the beginning.

Yeah.

Even if you don't know it, what if I
just gently sit down to coffee or tea

with the fact that I might be a miracle?

Yeah.

What if I just gently let that come in
and, and you know, something that you and

I, I know together that is so important.

That is the most abundant is our health.

Mm-hmm.

. , you know, and that looks,
everybody looks, if I comp

compare, you know, I'm five seven.

Mm-hmm.

, roughly 160 pounds, which really,
the numbers are nothing but just

some sort of context to, to mm-hmm.

, to, you know, whatever, how I
show up in this gravity of earth.

Right, right.

But if I growing up, I would've
probably compared myself to you.

Mm-hmm.

, the tall, angelic blonde.

. Mm-hmm.

with big boobs and, and just, and also,
I mean, you're just so radiant and so

beautiful on the inside too, right?

I mean, you are, but it's how.

also like how asinine of my five
seven Burnett's self, right.

With an athletic body to compare
myself to the long lean Abby.

Right.

It it's just your, that is
your expression in the world.

Mm-hmm.

, which is so important in the miracle,
and this is my expression, which

is so important in the miracle.

Abby: Right, exactly.

And that, and all of that being.

I would be the same way on the other
side because we always want the things

that we, we always covet, like the
things that we don't have, instead of

like looking down and being like, damn,
this is pretty fucking amazing here.

You know?

Yes.

And cuz I could look at
you and be like, oh wow.

Like somebody who actually can have
like, Muscles, what would that be like?

. ? Yeah.

Who looks like really strong
and, and has like a butt.

I'm like all of the, you know, like
Jameson and I will talk about this

all the time, and he'll be like, well,
you know, if you like, this is, you

know, classic man thing to say too.

Being like, well, you know, if you
there, you could like build it up.

And I'm like, yeah, I could,
but like, it'll never.

I could do it in a way that
like was healthy and, but

like, is this my body type?

Not really sure.

I could make it, I could make it
more muscular, but like, is it ever,

it's not, it's never gonna be what
somebody else's is and what is the,

Fallon: the energy you
would be doing it from?

Yeah, the energy of you.

So it's one thing like.

. I love to lift weights and work
out because there's, there's a,

a moving meditation in it for me.

Mm-hmm.

, there's a connect to my power
where I have always been a little

bit more of a pleaser and played
small in a lot of different ways.

Mm-hmm.

, there's a connection to my power in it.

Abby: Um,

,
Fallon: but I would also be lying if
I said that there weren't times in my

life where I did it from, I need to
do this because I'm not enough now and

this will help me feel like enough.

Right.

So it's really tapping into the
energy in what you're doing.

It's like if you wanted to
go and build a butt, a bigger

butt than what you have now.

Yeah.

Then sure.

If that was like something that was like,

Abby: uh, this feels that you
felt very important to me.

Yeah.

Because, because like it
for a reason that wasn.

You know, I need to do it for somebody
else or to meet some, some outside

Fallon: standard, or it's gonna make
you happier, you know, whatever.

Right?

Like in, in a false sense.

Happier than, yeah.

Than no.

So it's also tapping into the energy in
which, why, why are we choosing right.

, why were we choosing what we're choosing?

And I shared this in my Instagram
stories, I think it was yesterday.

Cause I'm on, you know, I'm
on this candy to cleanse.

Mm-hmm.

. And a lot of people are asking
me about it because I did

talk about having weight loss.

But the more important story in this
was my own weight stories coming up.

Yeah.

My own, my, it wasn't
about the, the weight loss.

That is a natural side effect
when you're consciously cleansing,

when you're doing any cleanse.

Mm-hmm.

. But I'm not doing it for the weight loss.

Right.

But as I was watching the weight and
the numbers changed, I noticed these

old deep stories come up around.

How worthy I was to, to feel better
in my skin or how worthy I wasn't,

or what the numbers meant, and
my relationship to these numbers.

And so it really grounded me into, um,
and I share this in my stories, like if

you wanna cleanse, cleanse, but get really
clear on what your body actually needs.

Get really clear on the energy in
which you, why, why you want it.

Mm-hmm.

, um, if it's just to get
skinny, that is to lose weight.

It's not gonna ever be sustainable.

You

Abby: know?

Yes, go ahead.

No, and I was gonna say like in
that same vein with all of this,

you know, with all of the wedding
stuff happening and feeling.

, like, okay, well if I wanna get into
more of like a good movement routine

for myself, you hear yourself, you
hear it in your head being like,

well, if I wanted to lose weight,
then I would do more hit workouts.

Mm-hmm.

, or I would do more workouts that were
like this, but I'm like, okay, what?

What are the ways of moving that feel
really good to me, nourishment and.

. Like that's like right now.

That's like Melissa Wood workouts.

Fucking love her.

They're like very like
Pilates, yoga, very.

The ones that like make me actually
tune into my body, feel the energy

moving through it, make me feel
very grounded, very centered.

Do they burn the most calories?

No, they do not.

But do I wake up?

Do I find myself throughout the day
noticing that I'm sitting taller?

That like my core feels stronger,
that like my whole body is

tired, but it's not like it.

A different kind of tired and
you just feel like, oh wow, I'm

using all of my body in this way.

That feels really good, but am I
focused on like losing weight as

quickly as possible or doing all of the
things that I know how to do because

you know, we all will Being also in
the coaching space and in the health

and fitness and yeah, we know all
the ways to like lose weight in Yes.

Quick and unhealthy ways.

Yes.

And.

And that's not what I'm,
that's not what I'm here for.

I'm here to feel good.

. That's the,

Fallon: and that's the
nourishment, that's the self love.

Exactly.

That's the, the acknowledgement of, I'm
not gonna buy into, I need to burn as

many calories as possible, or lift as
much weight as possible, or, I'm, I'm

actually, this is what I enjoy because
of the way that it makes me feel.

Abby: Mm-hmm.

. And the way that it makes my
body feel, like all of my muscles

and like, and my, and my mind.

Yeah.

Like being like, Ooh, I feel grounded.

I feel like I've done, like you
were saying with lifting weights,

like you're doing a moving
me like a moving meditation.

. That's what it feels like.

And

Fallon: it, it, this all brings
me back to what we were talking

about before we hit record.

always, um, you're right, is, is like Dr.

Emoto's work and you brought it up
in the form of plants, but like Dr.

Emoto, in the way that you speak
to water and if you just mm-hmm.

, Google, Dr.

Emoto and his work with speaking
and listening to music mm-hmm.

, there's certain frequencies of music.

and the way that we speak to
water, you actually see it change

and it looks very disharmonious.

Mm-hmm.

, um, in the negatives, right?

Like the negative talk and the negative
emo even a negative emotion sent to it.

And, and it's done with rice as well,
like a rice jar with positive talk.

And, and I think you
said, um, plants as well,

Abby: right?

Yeah.

With plants.

There was like this experiment
where, you know, people.

They talk to their plants and they're
like, oh my God, you look so beautiful.

You're blooming.

I can't believe how fast you're blooming.

So many, like so many
more flowers this time.

And then there was another plant that
you were talking to that you were

like, God, you're such an ugly plant.

You're just all of these horrible things.

And like that plant died even though
it got the same amount of sunlight

and the same amount of water, and have
the same soil, but the one that you.

Like spoke to you with compliments and
just like encouragement and so it's

like, imagine you looking in the mirror
every morning being like, you're so

ugly, versus wow, you're a miracle.

And like imagine yourself speaking
like you're saying like Biola

to every cell in your body being
like, you are such a miracle.

Oh my God.

Like.

Thank you for doing all of the, all
of the things that you do to keep me

healthy, to keep me going and all.

It's just such a different energy
that you're embodying Yeah.

From, from like a baseline, you know?

Fallon: Yes.

I love that.

Like building a new homeostasis.

Exactly.

, and that's something my mentor talks
about a lot, is we actually, our

homeostasis is actually of divine health.

Mm-hmm.

peace and happiness and, and
anything outside of that is the dise.

Mm-hmm.

. And to remember that your
homeostasis is actually already

there to be your healthiest.

Itself and the rest of
it's a journey, right?

Mm-hmm.

Of, of the Lakers and all of that.

But, um, there was something I was
gonna say to this that you were

speaking to with, um, oh, the plants.

So I, yeah.

I was raised by a hippie mom who
talked to her plants, so mm-hmm.

, that's something I've always done, is
if a plant's dying, start to talk to it.

Never really knowing.

Right.

That there were actual studies out there
that that proved this, but mm-hmm.

it.

The same goes for, and I'm teach my
clients this, and I'm a big proponent

of this for a lot of years, is also
I speak to, like we talked about Dr.

Motos work, I speak to
my water every morning.

Mm-hmm.

and my food when I remember mm-hmm.

, like sometimes I don't remember to talk
to my food, but also like the way that

you speak to living things that you're
getting ready to put into your body.

Abby: Exactly.

Iss huge.

Well, and I mean, and this is something
that I can't speak of too much, but

like in, you know, like Native American
cultures, like when you, when you kill an

animal, then you like, thank it for giving
you life and for like sustaining life in

your community, in your tribe and stuff.

And even now, like praying over a meal
and like giving thanks, like giving

thanks to not only the living things
that you're going to eat, but the

things that sacrifice so that you.

take nourishment from them.

But it all comes back to being
mindful and giving gratitude for

all of the things that help you
sustain your own life and honor and

honor your body and honor yourself.

Right?

Yes.

And, and I

Fallon: wanna say too, like as you were
talk, as we were just talking about,

was listening to you about the, you
know, the negative talk and mm-hmm.

that we have, it's so subtle.

, don't you find that it's really subtle.

Like it's not like I don't wake up in
the morning and I'm like, Ooh, you ugly.

Right?

You ugly a bitch.

. Yeah.

What are you doing?

What are, you know, I mean,
although I'm sure some people

do, so we're laughing, but Yeah.

But our like, I know for me it's
always been more of this subtle

like, Ugh, that's cellulite.

Abby: Ugh.

We're like putting a pair of
shorts and being like, Ooh, it's

a little tight in the waist.

Maybe I should eat less.

Yes.

You

Fallon: know?

Yes.

Or making that tightness mean

Abby: mean that you,
something fucked something up.

You ate too much over the weekend,
or you shouldn't have done

something and then it's, or you're

Fallon: just chubby.

Right.

Like that's something I, I would've
just gone to be like, I guess I'm

just fluffy, or I'm just chubby today.

Yeah.

And that's uncomfortable
and I don't fucking like it.

And I'm gonna decide in this moment
because of that feedback that I'm not

gonna enjoy my body as much today.

Yeah.

When I could have easily
many times decided, Something

different like, okay, tight

Abby: shorts must be weird today.

Fallon: Down these shorts.

Abby: The short, shrunk overnight.

I don know what happens.

Fallon: Yeah.

But its really

Abby: up today.

Fallon: Yeah.

What if we didn't never
for me blame ourselves?

No.

Yeah.

What if we didn't always blame ourselves?

And especially as women we're so cyclical
on, you know, a 30 day, 28 day cycle.

Right?

Like, we're not going exactly feel, we're
not meant to feel the same in our body.

Mm-hmm.

. At all.

Um, but I wanna move into, because I
know, you know, you and I could talk

about this forever, but I wanna move
asking you, what do you feel like has

really served you in shifting the way that
you view your body or your body image?

And what can we leave with our listeners
today that, that maybe can help them?

Um, I mean, I think we've
given them a lot of different

perspective for sure, but just on a

Abby: personal.

For me, for me, it's, it's really
what we talked about a little bit,

but um, is really finding the ways
that you can have fun in your body

and just like, and, and taking note
of how it makes you feel because like,

having fun in your body can, it's like
you can try something new that you.

Maybe we're afraid to try and then you
figure out that you can do something

new and that gives you confidence or
gives you a lot of different things.

Um, but yeah, like exploring ways to move
that feel really good and that ground

you, that make you feel really centered,
like I was talking about with the, the

Melissa Wood workouts, but also like
moving in ways that like help you tap

into your sensuality and your sexuality
and like, I think that the more we can.

Just be more in tune with our bodies
internally, the better everything

comes out externally because you start
to build your worth more with like

without all of the external factors,
without looking in the mirror and.

Looking at the scale, because
like you said, it's like we're

both completely different.

Like your weight, you could have
the same weight as somebody else

and look completely different.

Mm-hmm.

. And like that's always, it's like we've,
I think we've learned, now we've gotten

to the point that we know that external
things will kind of always fuck you up.

Yeah.

So it's like how can we find
that worth internally and yeah.

My number one is like
finding ways to have fun.

Have fun in your body and with your.

I

Fallon: love that and that,
yeah, I relate to that a lot.

The, the having fun and honoring
the body's capabilities.

Mm-hmm.

, you know, um, like people playing Yeah.

And the senses.

Mm-hmm.

, right?

Like, I get to see and I get to
smell and I get to hear like I have

all of my senses and my intuition.

Mm-hmm.

. . Um, yeah.

And, and the playing, I, you know, and the

Abby: laughter, like going back
to like childlike, like how, what

did you do when you were a kid?

Like you ran around, you like threw
your arms up, you did full belly laughs.

You weren't trying to like look a
certain way or pose a certain way that

you looked, the skinniest, the skinniest
or the tallest or like whatever.

You just fucking went full.

Yes,

Fallon: yes.

Lived.

And I love the, the honoring, like
their capabilities, but also getting

uncomfortable and learning new
things, which develops the confidence.

Mm-hmm.

Right?

Mm-hmm.

And there's a couple things before
we close I wanna hit on, cause

there was something you said earlier
before we started recording that

I think isn't really important.

Um, but what was I gonna say?

Honoring the capabilities.

Now I just lost it.

So I'm gonna actually ask you
what is it, you sent me something

on Instagram a couple weeks ago
that I really want you to share

Abby: because it was eyeopening for me.

Yeah.

Alex Light.

So I think her, I think her Instagram
is Alex Light underscore l d n London.

Um, and she is like, um, body
positive influencer and she posted

this reel that shows how on the same
day with different camera lense.

Your face looks completely different.

So it's like her face went like wider to
skinnier, to like just this whole range

of like in and out, like from wider to
thinner and more chiseled kind of looking.

And it was literally her on the exact same
date with a bunch of different lenses.

And it's like, this is, and for me,
this was like when I was traveling

and there would be different mirrors
in every Airbnb that we were in.

And I could tell that I'm like, oh shit.

Did I?

Like put on a few pounds, like I
feel like this, I look a little bit

heavier or wider or like whatever.

And it's just like, this is where
these external things can really

like fuck with you and why it's so
important to find that, that um,

that worth internally because yeah,
like when I saw that thing with the

camera lens, I was like, holy shit, we

Fallon: need to share that reel.

This is crazy.

It is so powerful to watch her.

Change pretty drastically.

Abby: Very like dramatically.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fallon: Thank you.

Dramatically from, from
different camera lenses.

Mm-hmm.

, and we can all relate to, to that
like, I, there's, oh, my, and,

and that we instantly feel a, a, a
type of way about ourself mm-hmm.

based on what that lens is mirroring
back to us in like a selfie or,

or a picture that was been taken.

That has been taken and it's.

Again, coming back to ourself.

Yeah, coming back to ourself, trusting
ourselves, trusting and, and loving us

where we're at now and, and remembering
that a camera can catch our essence,

but not as much as we can ourselves.

Abby: No, exactly.

Exactly.

Fallon: The lens can never
really reflect back to us.

our full truth.

Mm-hmm.

and our, the full miracle of who we are.

And that a lot of times we, what
we were talking about, like the

comparison, you know, like growing
up I would've been like, oh, I wish

I could look like Abby in this way.

And you would've been like, oh, I wish
I could, you know, with Fallon this way.

A lot of times what we feel another
person has is also what they

actually love about themselves.

Mm-hmm.

and what we don't love about ourselves,
and it's just the mirror of, she actually

is very, she's, she's not insecure about
that piece of her, whether it's physical.

or like her groundedness, right?

Like mm-hmm.

you might feel a really
grounding power in another woman.

Right.

And you might feel really not
like powerless around her.

Right.

And it's because it exists as
the reminder it exists within

Abby: us.

Well, and it, and it's the things that
I think we covet about other people

are the things that are really wanting
to be more expressed within ourselves.

Yeah.

And so, and habited as well in our school.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And I think the more
that we can move toward.

Recognizing and tuning in
with our internal worth, our

internal like body worth.

And the more we can also recognize
it in other women, you know,

recognize all of the parts.

Like we always like to say all of the
parts outside of just the physical, um,

all of the ways that which, and like in
which like women come to the table and

it's not just their size, it's their, you
know, their energy, their presence, their.

Confidence.

It's their, their intelligence.

Their intelligence, their humor.

Yes.

They're witty things.

All the things.

Yeah.

Their goofiness, their
imperfection, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

All of the things that we can honor
within each other, I think is the

most, one of the most important things.

Um, and I did wanna say, just
on that note, the, the Ruby Core

poem, that is one of my favorites.

Let me pull that up, which is I want to.

Apologize to all the women that
I have called Pretty before.

I've called them intelligent or brave.

I'm sorry.

I made it sound as though something
as simple as what you're born with is

the most you have to be proud of when
your spirit has crushed mountains.

From now on, I will say things like, you
are resilient or You are extraordinary.

Not because I don't think you're pretty,
but because you're so much more than that.

Fallon: I think that's the
best note to leave this on.

Me too.

Abby: It is.

I love you.

I love you too.

And we love you.

We love you.

Everyone listening.

Yes, we love you, and we'd love to hear
anything that this brought up for you.

Any experiences that you've had with,
with, with playing with your own body

image or even, or struggling with it
or where you're at in your own journey.

We'd love to hear you.

We'd love to support you.

Absolutely would love to support you

Fallon: because

Abby: we know the road all too well and

Fallon: thank you.

You're advocates of
leaving none of us behind.

Abby: Exactly.

We love all parts of you.

Yes.

Amazing.

All right.

Beautiful.

Yay.

See you guys next time.

Fallon: Bye.

Bye.